


First Draft

by Ember Nickel (primeideal)



Series: Mega Mis [1]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Song Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-11
Updated: 2012-02-11
Packaged: 2017-10-30 23:05:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/primeideal/pseuds/Ember%20Nickel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We know about the characters and sections of the novel that got adapted into the musical. These are the ones who just missed the cut. Originally written fall 2011.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Bishop's Sister

Do you see the people? No, you couldn't since you've lost your sight.  
I really hope you can find out which way will guide you toward the light.  
All you wretched of the earth, please would you not complain to me.  
Even the darkest nights will end and then  _you_  will see.

There had better be a candle in the garden of the Lord.  
I've had all that I handle, thought at least I'm never bored.  
He'd better be healed, that's the least he can have for reward.

Can you see all that's displayed? Will you be strong and stand upright?  
No, I guess not. I'm so dismayed; I guess your soul should go take flight.  
Do you see the people? No. Say, can you hear a distant tune?  
If you need to go on and go, it won't be too soon.


	2. Marius' Father

At the end of the war you're another warm body  
And death drops you in the middle of a big heap.  
And you want to go to sleep  
You don't care that you're almost dying  
And the stench is all around you, there's nowhere to creep.  
And you're tired of trying.

At the end of the war all the world will forget you.  
What you've got in your pockets will do you no good  
Till a robber hurries past  
Who awaited the end of the battle  
And who would like to pick up some cash, if he still could,  
From those slaughtered like cattle.

At the end of the war things will go back to normal  
And they'll send the emperor back into exile  
Where he'll sit upon his isle  
The government will try a solution  
Everything will feel calm, if just for a little while  
Till the next revolution.

At the end of the war I got nothing for nothing  
Till a kind stranger saw me and came to my aid.  
Took me from where I'd been laid  
A decision very fateful!  
I can only hope that someday he will be repaid.  
I'm eternally grateful.


	3. The Nuns

I smell incense, over yonder, nigh.  
...How dare you insinuate that I am getting "high"?  
It's through prayer we reach those splendid heights.  
Praise and prayer incessantly through many sleepless nights.  
Who needs luxuries like candlelights?

Loving ladies, praying for the earth.  
We're big into selflessness, though not so much self-worth.  
Following a devout Spaniard's lead  
Showing our devotion, never mind whether we bleed.  
It just shows the earth has so much need.

We'll keep men around to tend the garden.  
Just one or two of them, though; surely God will show pardon.  
Meanwhile, there's girls we have to teach  
When we're not busy listening to the preacher preach  
Or in prayer when it's time to beseech.

Some reformers think we go too far.  
We'll forgive those misinformed ones, whoever they are.  
The convent is our home, not a jail.  
We'll forgive you if you're jealous of a wholesome veil.  
Criticism's such an epic fail!


	4. Marius' Grandfather

A mouth full of teeth!  
A mouth full of words!  
All these young republicans  
Are quite absurd.  
Ninety years old and feeling spry.  
Yes I do,  
My oh my!

A mouth full of teeth!  
A house full of joy!  
How about a hug for Gramps,  
My little boy?  
Ah, but I meet a sorry fate.  
He is such  
An ingrate!

A mouth full of teeth!  
A heart full of pain!  
Shouldn't all that I have done  
For him be plain?  
Go away, get out of my house  
Don't need you.  
Stupid louse.

A mouth full of teeth!  
Well, at least for now...  
I won't let them fall right out.  
No way, no how!  
Go on, you brat, speak of revolt.  
Idiot,  
Little dolt.

A mouth full of teeth?  
It now feels empty  
Like the emptiness within  
Growing in me.  
How dare you imply that I miss  
My grandson?  
What is this?


	5. The Students

There are words that can't be spoken.  
Not because they're too profound  
But because I speak just English  
And I cannot make the sound.

They fought for a new beginning  
Though the world went on the same.  
Please, each friend of mine, forgive me  
Since I can't pronounce your name.

Some names had a lot of vowels.  
Some were small and some were large.  
It's just easier to say now  
"Um, that one guy was in charge."

They never addressed each other  
Or at least I wasn't told.  
Sure, Grantaire was called by name once  
But that only was to scold.

How it hurts to mourn in silence!  
Every teardrop is a wrench.  
Yet I have no other option.  
It's too hard to pronounce French.

Everybody was a comrade.  
Everybody was a friend.  
But their names shall go forgotten  
Now that they have met their end.


	6. The King

I'm the king;  
Please don't rebel against me, it's quite rude,  
You know I'm really not that bad a dude,  
I am a cautious diplomat  
And you know that is where it's at;  
I'm the king;  
Mostly I let people do what they will,  
I mean most things for good, and rarely ill,  
I've had lots of kids with the queen,  
I'm not unpleasant, I'm not mean;  
I'm the king;  
I wouldn't call my monarchy that absolute,  
I am a decent man and rather cute,  
Some kings are linked with tyranny  
But those sorts of kings aren't like me;  
I'm the king;  
But all my friends call me Louis-Philippe  
I treat them like people and not like sheep,  
They are my subjects, it is true,  
However, I'm a subject too;  
I'm the king;  
The subject of a sentence very long,  
In fact, it's even longer then this song,  
It goes and it won't terminate  
And my rule is equally great,  
I wouldn't call it nearly done,  
In fact, it scarcely has begun;  
I'm the king;  
Louis-Phillipe I!


	7. Two Little Boys

On our own  
Without a friend to guide us  
Barely grown  
We don't know where we're going.  
Together  
We try and face tomorrow  
Unsure what we can reach for, where to go or what to borrow.

What's to come  
Is such an unclear muddle  
Blurry ducks  
Reflected in the puddle.  
In the darkness  
The rats were cold and empty  
And all we saw were faces barely real and half remembered.

We hold out  
But when the clash has ended  
He'll be gone,  
The boy that we befriended.  
Even now,  
The world around us changing  
Somewhere our family's still the same, coldhearted and estranging.

We're still here  
But slowly we are learning  
All the world  
Is good at silent spurning.  
We can't go  
Back now the world is turning  
A world that's full of kindness that we long ago were shown.  
We'll make it.  
We'll have to.  
We'll try to-  
But now we're on our own.


	8. Look Down

Look down and see the refuse and the muck.  
Look down and ask, "Who lets the sewers suck?"  
Look down, not up. Do not look any higher.  
Look down and see: you're standing in your mire.  
"It's been reformed. There are new grates and bricks."  
Look down, look down. It still resembles Styx.  
What fine examples of the human species,  
Look down, look down, to venture among feces.  
Look down and see the sewage and the grime.  
Look down, look down. It only grows with time.  
Look down, look down, and see the filth and waste.  
There's nowhere for this refuge to be placed.  
Look down, look down, and in your heart find pity  
When you see all that underlies this city.  
Look down, look down, and you will come to know,  
As it reeks above, so it reeks below.


	9. The Rues

It's not really that exciting  
It's not something you can sing  
When there's just Rue this and Rue that  
And then Rue the other thing.

There are streets and intersections.  
You can never simply park  
Your coach-no, you have to ride it  
Down these alleys in the dark.

And at every single corner  
There's another sign to read  
The geography is detailed  
If that's really what you need.

Are they all just famous people  
Being honored by the state?  
In a few decades will come new  
Boulevards, at any rate.

It's not really that exciting  
To shoehorn into a song  
And I think we see the reason  
Why the book went on so long.

Not a single travel sequence  
Can be summarized or quick  
Maybe if they had been, it would  
Not be so much of a brick.

But after the first few hundred,  
Well, they then stop being news.  
I think I might rue the day  
That I discovered all these Rues!


End file.
